Thursday, April 30, 2009

Corn Thief

Remember when I shellacked those gourds and corn things a few months ago? If not, you can refresh your memory HERE.

Anyway, I'd forgotten about the corn...I had left them in a basket on the front porch and I just noticed them today.



Notice anything strange about 4 of them??



OMG some animal ate the shellacked corn! That is hilarious!



I wonder if the animal pooped shellacked turds?

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Coconut Thingamajig

Went for a walk today and brought my point-n-shoot with me instead of a dog.

For some odd reason this thingamajig really fascinated me.









I was hoping to come up with some deep poem or quote about life to go along with the thingamajig pics, but oddly all I can think of right now is coconut LifeSavers.......mmmmmmmmmmm.......and my brain stops here.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Kwitcherbitchin

We saw this yesterday but I didn't have a camera with me so we went back by today so I could snap a shot. I love it.



Only today we noticed the house across the street from Mr. Asshole's Garage....



HILARIOUS!

Friday, April 24, 2009

CLUE

I suggest that the crime was committed in the bathroom, by Mrs. Peacock with a shampoo bottle.



1. The victim.

2. The murder weapon.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Pink Magnolias

One thing I haven't missed about Atlanta is the first few weeks of spring where EVERYTHING is covered in pollen. It's horrible. For some strange reason there is no pollen here... I'm sure there is a logical explanation as to why we don't have pollen here, I just haven't bothered finding that out.

One thing I have missed though is the smell of one of my favorite trees....the magnolia. I haven't seen one since we moved and just assumed they must be a southern tree.

Well today I learned something wonderful. I learned that there ARE magnolias here....



they're just pink!!!!!



Aren't they gorgeous?



I'm tickled PINK!!!!! Hardy yar har.

But seriously, that totally made my day today.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Aloha Dreaming

Today it was a fabulous 80 degrees! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have not seen 80 in what, 6 months or so? (December in Savannah doesn't count, MIL)

So I decided to embrace the warmth and relax on the deck for a few minutes. It was also the perfect time to catch up on some of my 'advanced maternal age pregnancy books' that scare the living shit out of me and I wish I never would have found them.

So I sat on the deck and felt the sun on my skin and shut those scary books and closed my eyes for just a minute, and in my mind I was magically transplanted here.....



surrounded only by the sound of this........



and the smell of these.....



a girl can dream can't she?

I miss you Hawaii......

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Easy Breezy

Yesterday we had 45 MPH winds ALL DAY LONG.

You're wondering what 45 MPH winds look like?



Annoying.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Banjo & Olive Turn Two!

Even though we adopted Banjo and Olive from different shelters at different times, They were both born sometime in April so we decided to give them the same birthday of April 20th.

It seems like only yesterday when we brought little Banjo home.
Awwwwwwwwwwwww he was SO cute!













And then came Olive a few months later....but we didn't get to see her as a puppy.















They are officially teenagers now in dog years.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY B & O!!!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

An Asparagus Haiku



Dinner is ready.
Asparagus and pork chops.
Can't wait to go pee.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Saving Seuss

I found an old Dr. Seuss book (copyright 1960) in the garage the other day, and even though it was clearly on it's last leg, I just couldn't throw her away.



Because My Oh My.....how I LOVE me some Dr. Seuss.

Then I remembered the four cream photo mattes that I bought at Target about 3 years ago. They were on clearance for 39 cents each and I knew that surely someday I would find a use for them....and only 39 cents each? Come on!

So I decided to take my four favorite pages and matte and frame them for Chicken Little's room.



I think they came out great!!!!!!









I'm so happy that I could rescue some green eggs and ham.

HAPPY INDEED!

Like a pig in SH*T....

I am.

I am.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Oops- I Did It Again

I wanted to introduce y'all to the FOUR new cops I have met since our move to Iowa.

#1- Met this one last fall, he was super nice... and D was actually driving so this doesn't really count against me personally. He gave us a warning.


#2- I was almost home from my Atlanta road trip last month- this guy busted me in MO about 4 hours from home. He DID NOT give me a warning however.


#3- This happened about 1 week after #2- and this nice guy only gave me a warning.


#4- Yesterday- about 3 miles from home. Can you believe this cop's printer was not working, so he did not issue me a citation??? OMG! he said, "well this is your lucky day."


Lucky Indeed.

I am NEVER speeding again. I am officially aware that my luck has probably run out after this.......4 cops and only 1 ticket.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stalking Ellen

It's normal to have a secret stalking obsession with a celebrity, right?

That's what I thought.

Well mine happens to be Ellen DeGeneres. I love her spirit.
I have been sending her funny emails for a few years now trying to get a phone call or tickets to her show or well... any type of acknowledgment.
No luck yet.
I understand that she gets a zillion letters a day, so I'll keep trying.

I just saw on her website that she is looking for funny Easter pictures. She is also looking for women who are pregnant with their first baby to be in the audience of her Mother's Day show.

WHAT?????????????

ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!

So I just sent her this.



Fingers crossed!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Mushroom, Lichen or Fungi?

This week's Mystery Photo has ME confused now... and I took it!



Joyce said Mold or MUSHROOM.

Claire said LICHEN

Jennifer said MUSHROOM or FUNGI.



is it fungus, lichen or mushroomie mold?

HELP!

Who is the winner?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Corndog Checkoff

I decided to have a professional do our taxes for the first time ever this year, mostly because there were a few new things that happened in '08 that made me unsure I could file ours without screwing something up. Mainly the move from Georgia to Iowa and also our insane brain fart incident marriage.

Today I got the good word that we are actually getting a few peanuts back instead of owing.

Take that Uncle Sam! You Suck!

And if that wasn't enough to make me smile, check out this sign hanging in the tax lady's office....



I LOVE IT!

The Corndog Checkoff!!!! Look at the animals ready to paint.

Not sure if I am just delirious from 2 weeks of tax worry or what, but the Corndog Checkoff is the funniest thing I have seen in awhile.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mysterious Monday!

It's mystery photo time!

I'm hoping this one is harder than the last one.

First correct answer gets an 8x12 print of their choice :)

Deadline is Thursday at 5PM.
(What a goofy deadline!)

Good Luck!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Wylie

Today a little coyote ran in front of us as we were driving home. No, I didn't get a picture of him, but we did learn what a coyote den looks like!



I'd never noticed the dens before today- there are several of them only a few hundred yards from our house.



Now I know why we can hear them at night sometimes!

They are so close!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Dong Laler?

Saw this today.



Too bad I'm knocked up.
A girl sure could have some dirty fun in a joint like this.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Sew What?

Believe it or not I've made 2 blankets in my lifetime...and i use the term MADE very loosely.

There is a super easy pattern called the "no-sew fleece blanket".
Seriously, even a monkey could do it.

So yesterday I found some really cute pink fleece with the John Deere logo in chocolate brown, my 2 favorite colors together are pink and brown ya know.

I know, I know...
John Deere = YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. So?



Anyway, I thought it would make a really cute baby blanket.

I know, I know....
what if it's a boy. Yeah Yeah, settle down.
I picked out blue with brown polka dots for one side of it.



I finished it a few minutes ago and had the dogs model in front of it for you.
Isn't it cute?



Notice anything wrong?



John Deere is backwards! OMG I suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I thought about completely undoing and fixing it...but then i just busted out laughing thinking about what perfect sense it makes coming from me.

If it's a boy it will be even funnier. Poor little guy in his backwards pink John Deere blankie. Might as well give him a creepy doll too at that point. :)