Chortle Worthy

Today Darrin and I were craving some unhealthy food so we headed to the grocery store. Nothing crazy, just some hot wings. Well, um and some Ruffles. With ridges. And Queso dip. And Tostidos were 2 for $5 so we HAD to get 2 bags because it was such a deal. And some french onion dip too. And for some reason I grabbed a chocolate bar at checkout. Anyhoo we hung our heads and emptied our cart at the checkout counter. And of course our young, adorable, tiny, checkout girl said, "Cool! you guys are having friends over and watching the game tonite?" as she scanned our items.
To which D replied, "yeah, we're watching a game. It's called the 'Whose ass can grow fastest' game."

That totally made me CHORTLE on the inside.



So far I'm ahead by a Ruffle.

EARmergency

Well it's 4 am and I can't get back to sleep. Darrin was having shooting pains in his ears around 2:00 this morning so we went to the ER. The doctor checked him out and found a pretty bad ear infection going on in there. Darrin is a commercial diver, so the doctor told him absolutely no diving for at least the next 3 days. When D asked if he could be back in the water by Tuesday the Doc said, "let's just play it by ear."
Umm, OF COURSE that made me bust out laughing, which I don't think is proper etiquette when your hubby is lying on a hospital bed. Thankfully his Demerol shot had kicked in by then so he was feeling pretty good and didn't glare at me too hard.

As we drove home I was wishing I'd taken a picture of something in the ER to go with D's earmergency story, only because I don't think it is physically possible for me to make a blog entry without including a photo too.
Lucky for me we have a bad dog named Pete who apparently can't even be left alone for a short amount of time in the middle of the night.
This was on the kitchen floor when we got home.



Pete somehow got the crock pot, a gravy packet, AND a 5 pound bag of potatoes off the counter while we were gone.
I guess he was planning to make some stew for his sick daddy.
Should I punish him for that? Nah, maybe I'll just play it by ear for now and decide tomorrow.
OMG. Still funny to me.

Tryptophan & Thanks

I thought I'd better make an entry before the tryptophan kicks in and I slip into a food coma. Not really- we opted for ham today instead of turkey, I just wanted to impress everyone with a big word. But all kidding aside, everyone knows that Thanksgiving is about so much more than food, right?
It's not just about that fat juicy ham, or fluffy cornbread stuffing, or mashed potatos with the skins left on, or thick brown gravy, or sweet rolls lightly basted with real cream butter, or fresh pumpkin pie, or eggnog spiked with whiskey......um where was I going with this?
Oh yes, now I remember....today is not about the food at all.
More importantly it's about giving thanks.
So here we go.
Things I am thankful for this year:
1. Finally finding a poor bastard wonderful man willing to marry me.
2. Our loving and supportive family and friends.
3. The sense of peace we have found in our new town.
4. The 'unknown forces' that guided us here.
5. Having a drive-thru liquor store in said new town.
6. Our dogs. Who are also thankful.

For the drive-thru liquor store in our new town.

Because they get treats shaped liked dogs when we drive-thru.

Thank you Mayberry, I'm so glad we found you.

Happy Turkey Everyone ☺

The Little Red Schoolhouse

Today I went for a drive with no destination in mind, just a little road trip to see where I would end up.
Well, after a few wrong (or perhaps right?) turns I passed a sign
that read, 'Historic Red Schoolhouse Next Right'
You guessed it, I took the next right.

But this little red schoolhouse was nestled on someones private property. Not wanting to intrude, I quickly turned around to bolt just as a sweet man came out to greet me. He smiled and said, "Park it there, she'll be right out to show you around."
Intrigued, I patiently waited.
And cursed myself as usual for not bringing my camera. Once again I've stumbled upon something fabulous with only my stupid camera phone to document it.

Damn, will I ever learn?
A few minutes later out came Ramona- the woman who had this old schoolhouse moved from miles away to her farm back in 1975. She restored and furnished it with pieces dating back to the early 1900's. She told me that teaching has been her life, "it's just in my blood", she said...... and how having this old schoolhouse on her farm all these years has brought her so much joy.
Then she took me inside for a tour.

I immediately felt as if I'd stepped back in time.

Every

little

detail

was

just

perfect!

I swear I was in there for an hour with her. She told stories of her old students, how they all had 'chores', and what fun they all had putting on plays at Christmas time.
I told her about Grandma, and how she adored being a teacher in a one room school back in the 20's.
Ramona's eyes got big and sparkled as she said, "Oh how wonderful! Now you can picture it through your Grandmother's eyes"
Wonderful?????? She had no idea.
I told her I would be back soon with my real camera.
She gave me her phone number and told me to call first- that way she would be ready in her teaching dress and bonnet for pictures.
Seriously?
I love her.
To think I was in such a crappy mood all day, until I stumbled upon Ramona and her little red schoolhouse.
She honestly made my heart SMILE today.
BIG.
I will be back.

Mouse Trap

Do you remember that old board game Mouse Trap?
What a fun childhood memory, right?
Wrong!
Fun until it plays hide-n-seek next to your Thanksgiving potatos.
Oh no, tonight that childhood game is very real.
And tonight my friends- that tiny, cute, furry, DIRTY little fucker is gonna DIE!
Stay tuned............

(sorry for the F bomb. but to know me is to love me.)

I Wish I Had Gas

let-down n.
1. A disappointment: The cancellation of the game was a real letdown.

Who doesn't look forward to having their mouth drilled on for an hour or so if it involves a puff or two or ten of some laughing gas? I'd bottle that stuff up and bring it home if they'd let me. But imagine looking forward to a day of gaseous fun, only to find out that your new dental insurance does not cover said funny gas. WOW.
Yeah that SUCKED for me today.
But gas or no gas, the fact that I had no feeling in my mouth for several hours is still pretty funny.
And as I tried smile, my mouth felt like this:


Even though it really looked like this:


And trying to drink a Coke afterwards? Seriously.


Yeah Yeah, I survived- so what's your point?
All I'm sayin' is that it would have been more fun with a little gas.
Is that so wrong?

Massive Geese

Today D and I spotted a 'MASS OF' geese (get my punny title?).
And of course I didn't have my real camera so all you get are these crappy blackberry pics. It was amazing, they kept flying over us in groups for at least 20 minutes.




I even tried to get a self-portrait with them. (click it for a better look)

Yeah, I know it sucks.
And I have no idea WHY my face looks like one of those apple doll heads .

BUT WAIT...............

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, my darling husband thought we should be 'at one with nature' and take a ride in the Jeep. Without the top.
Um 30 degrees.

Hello nature, I'm cold. I'm smiling on the outside but COLD nonetheless.

First Snow

Today is the day- my first Iowa snow. Probably more snow than my last 5 Atlanta winters combined. YES, I realize it is only an inch or so at this point and YES, I do realize that soon to come will be FEET of snow.
Regardless, it's fun and Olive seems to be enjoying herself.

And Banjo made a wish in the snow.

And so did I.

God I am funny.

Fruit For Thought

If you have ever been to Atlanta, you've probably been on Peachtree Street at least once. If not Peachtree Street, surely you have been on a street with the word 'Peach' in it. Here is a funny little article I found that mentions the Peachtree Phenomenon.
You're wondering why I am thinking about that way out here in Iowa? Well, we now live on Orange Ave (which is also a road named after a fruit but that isn't the reason). We are the only house on our road, and at the end of our road there is a fork and this sign.

Anywhoo, I just find it funny and it reminds me of Peachtree.
And I had nothing else for today.

Door Prize

I got a package today from one of my favorite family members- She is ALWAYS winning things. I mean seriously, it isn't even funny but she has won a car and a trip to London among a million other things. Sometimes she wins not so great things that don't even make sense- and sends them to me knowing that I'll love them.
Thanks for the best T-Shirt ever Cheryl!

Closure

Today I finally uploaded the little video clip I promised to my 'OH Atlanta' entry so check it out.
Watching the clip reminded me that I still needed some closure with one special friend, so I will say goodbye to them now.

Goodbye old friend,
We had so many fun times together and I'm sorry for leaving you without any explanation. I want to thank you for always being there for me.
You kept me company on many trips to the beach to clear my head. You took me to the mountains on several occasions for some fresh air. You were with me when I met my Goddaughter for the first time. You never judged me for cussing and screaming in traffic. You supported me when I quit that mind-numbing job and even offered to buy me a drink to celebrate. You were there when I brought my puppy Banjo home from the shelter, and you didn't even care when he threw up on you later. You never complained about my horrible singing to really bad songs. You kept me entertained on my countless trips to Savannah, even the psychotic ones in the middle of the night. I hurt your front and back end but you didn't hold it against me, shit- I think I even burned you with a cigarette once or twice. You were such a trooper. Speaking of, you saved my ass more than a few times and I thank you for that. You were the best friend a girl could ask for, and I want you to know that it wasn't you it was me...
I just knew you weren't equipped mentally or physically to come with me to Iowa. I hope you can start over with a new friend, and I wish you the best. I'll forever keep this little piece of you to remember our good times.

Goodbye little old Honda coupe, I'll miss you my friend.

Unfortunately

I got this today.
hmmmm..........
Obviously packaged before the economy went to shit, ya think?

Jebro Joe

Today I don't have anything important to say- but Jebro Joe sure does.

Here's to a cleaner future.

Roadtrip

Well, to us a 30 mile venture to a new town IS a roadtrip- so we decided to check out the town of 'Ute' today.....here are some things we saw along the way...

A dip sign-of COURSE I needed a self portrait.

A tractor in the sky-are you kidding me? I love it!

This is a very old cemetery near our house...and no, we didn't bury any jars.

There are only about 15 total headstones from the 1800's here.

And of course we saw mama and baby llama on our journey. Why wouldn"t we?

Back at the homestead- I bought this GREAT monogrammed little flag at my favorite store 'Love Street' when I was in Atlanta.........um Darrin didn't think it was as cute as I did, but god love him he still let me put it up.

The End for today.

Gourd Break

I have spent all day editing pics from my Atlanta trip.
STILL EDITING. EYES HURT.
I need to take a break from the computer and do something different for a few minutes. I think I will shellac those gourds I bought recently.
No, I'm not kidding.

Yeah it scares me a little too.
Break over.
Back to Photoshop.

Meat For Rent

There is a bar in Onawa that is for sale...it also has rooms for rent above the bar. I don't know why I find this so funny but I do.

Land Spreadin' Out So Far And Wide

I'm afraid Farm Livin' really IS the life for me :)



Keep Atlanta, just give me that countryside. :)

Sappy Happy

There are lots of things to do when moving your life to a new city. One not so fun thing is finding yourself a new 'girlie' doctor. My new OBGYN just kind of fell into my lap- no pun intended. The most AMAZING doctor ever just moved to our tiny town 3 weeks ago from Hawaii... Dr. Mary Groda-Lewis. I feel honored just to know her, let alone be her patient! You all know that I took a soul searching trip to Kona, HI 2 years ago to 'find myself' and had a very spiritual experience while I was there. So of course it blows my mind that Dr. Mary was living in Kona at the exact time I was there! It all makes perfect sense that my appointment with her fell on 11/11, because if you know me you know my thing with numbers...(getting married on 8/8/8 for example) Anywho, I can't even describe how excited I am to have Dr. Mary in my life.
And not at all surprised that this tree is in front of her office....

HAPPY INDEED.

Oh Atlanta...

...I'm comin' back to you, one fine day.
A little clip I made on my last day in the ATL.
Mainly for when I am snowed in this winter, I can watch this and not feel sorry for myself.

Where Does It Keep The Paper?

I didn't plan to write about funny kid quotes 2 days in a row... But today when 4 year old Jake walked up to a tree and said, "Where does it keep the paper"? Well that totally blew my mind.

Unbelievable.

Hair Doctors and Vibrating Corn

Kids are truly amazing. My friend Alison's daughter, Shannen, can count to 20 in Spanish and is not even three. Today I got to witness my first toddler haircut at a place called 'Hairy's' in Kennesaw. They put Shannen in a chair shaped like a race car and worked on her new 'do'. How cute is that??

After about 10 minutes of clipping Shannen asked, "Am I at the Hair Doctor?"

OMG! How do they come up with this stuff??

And speaking of cute, after the Hair Doctor fun my next stop was to visit my kindred spirit Beth and her new baby Alex (we call him Bean). I found the most perfect John Deere teething ring at our local hardware store for Bean. If the fact that it is shaped like a corn cob isn't funny enough, it also vibrates...to which Beth said, "Alex, Mommy might need to keep this for herself".

Again, kindred spirit.

Stalking Tyra Banks

That's right, Tyra Banks was in the ATL eating at the Cheesecake Factory where I met some old High School friends for lunch today. I missed out on getting a razzi pic of her eating, so after lunch I secretly waited outside hoping to catch her leaving. I pretended I was hanging out watching the decorating of the 35 foot Christmas tree.

This is me patiently waiting....

After about 20 minutes of that nonsense I snapped out of it and realized what a complete LOSER I was.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Trash The Dress!

Miranda was kind enough to let me do my first Trash The Dress shoot on her tonight.
OMG we had a BLAST! It's pretty fun to watch a former bride fu*k up her gown.
Fun indeed.

'GORGE'ous Day

Today mom and I met Bonnie at Tallulah Gorge- it was a GORGEOUS day. Out of nowhere our new friend rolled up on his motorized bicycle. Awesome. You can't even plan shit like this....






He was the perfect ending to our perfect day.