Friday, February 20, 2009

What Would Superman Do?

Pete and I covered some serious ground yesterday, we drove almost 12 hours before I decided to call it a night....when I saw the exit sign for 'Metropolis, IL- Home of the Giant Superman Statue!'
And OF COURSE I rolled right on into The Metropolis Inn, and was thrilled when the clerk told me I'd gotten the last room! Imagine my joy in landing the last room AND being only 1 mile from Giant Superman! Golly Gee I am just so lucky sometimes!

I was so beat I collapsed into bed 10 minutes after I'd checked in.......
um...but...that was 6 hours ago. It's now 4 am Friday morning and I can't sleep.

Why you ask?

Well let's see: the shower in my room won't stop dripping. The toilet runs a swishy cycle every 4.5 minutes. The smoke detector on the ceiling has a tiny green light that blinks off and on and off and on and off and on and on and on. There must be an ice machine right outside my door because it dumps a new load just about every 10 minutes...usually right after the elevator dings and screetches and vibrates my wall.

Oh, and that family of giant ELEPHANTS above me are very talented cloggers indeed!

So what would Superman do? I'll tell you what he wouldn't do-
he certainly wouldn't go on a roadtrip and take these:



...and expect to sleep anytime within the next 12 or 20 or so hours after taking them.

Nope. He sure wouldn't.



You guessed it.

Super jinky pills + shithole, noise infested hotel = you aint sleepin' tonight.

It's times like this when I'm painfully reminded that the Mensa gene skips a generation in my family. My parents are Mensa smart, I am not. I used to tease my mom when she would attend her annual 'Mensa Gathering'- I called it the 'Nerd Convention'. Mom told me that her Mensa friends referred to us common folk as 'Densans'.
That's pretty funny.
Regardless, I bet those nerds weren't lying awake in their hotel rooms with the caffeine jitters staring at the moving walls either.



Boing.

Boing.

Boing.


Hey, Mr. Elephant.....your ice is ready!


There had better be one helluva Superman statue on my way out tomorrow today.

19 comments:

Alix said...

Welcome to the insomnia club, sistah. I dozed off sometime after 2:30am this morning (after abandoning the marital bed due to jackhammer snoring by hubby) and woke up to a wheezing dog around 6:30am. It would be manageable if this wasn't the status quo. Shit I'm tired.

Alix said...

PS: Your blog is a riot.

Savannah Belle said...

I knew I should be traveling with you!! You know my sleep habits--or lack of. I thought I would tell you that you must have taken a wrong turn cause you are in the Chicago area. That would be mean, wouldn't it! How did you take those photos with all those bubble looking things? Maybe the hotel will give you a refund. I sure hope the statue is worth it. Hey, try my email from your laptop again. I sent out an SOS to D & your Mom when I didn't hear from you.

Anonymous said...

Mom maybe it is time to revisit your IL roots. S-man came from Metropolis IL wich is in the southern part of the state. Poor southeners....

Mom L said...

OMG, Diane! I am really sorry you didn't sleep - your sleepless photos are hilarious, but I know that wasn't funny to you!!! Did Pete get caught? And hey, I NEVER referred to you as a Densan! That's meant for those idiots like the stupid criminals we read about! You are too darn smart for your own good.

S.B. - I just checked, and I still haven't received an SOS email from you - lost in the ether?

Di, drive carefully today - I hope you reach Bonnie's before the hi-powered buzz wears off and you conk out.
Love you!!!

Shiloh Prairie Farm said...

Funny post! Though I know not being able to sleep isn't funny at all. After several years of living in the country I visited a friend that lived in a downstairs apt. I swear her upstairs neighbor was doing jumping jacks all night long. She had always referred to him as "Mr. Stompy", I sure found out why that first night.

Mom L said...

BTW, I'm anxious to hear if you checked out the giant Superman as closely as you did the giant bull?

Mom L said...

Oops - and forgot to congratulate you on more than 5 smoke-free weeks!!!

Joanna@BooneDocksWilcox said...

Umm, I've never been invited to a Mensa meeting.

My doctor keeps me on so much dope, I just want to hibernate, no trouble sleeping, need a forklift to get me out of bed in the mornings to come to work.

Atlanta is sooo far away from Iowa, I don't know why you don't just suck it up and fly. You mensa people ought to know the odds of the plane crashing vs the car crashing (and the car driver being on NoDoz).

Lola Nova said...

Ah, the glamour of the road. The sights, sounds and smells of a roadside motel all hopped up on goofballs, sweet! Reminds me of the time I just had to see The Corn Castle in South Dakota. Drive safely and I hope you get some rest soon.
Up, up and away!

Savannah Belle said...

Anonymous is correct, Metropolis is is the southern end of IL. In fact it almost didn't make it in IL at all. But I figured in Di's sleep deprive state, I would mess with her mind. Should have figured it wouldn't work. Good picture of Superman! Glad you didn't take photos of his private parts. Were you embarassed to do that without the Big D? Di, try getting a bag of traveling licorice the next time you stop. It always helps me when I'm traveling. Don't leave home without it. Bet you wish you had one right now! I sure hope comcast decides to like you again. They won't let me receive your laptop emails.

Claire said...

I know what you need. YOu need a Sleep Mate. I can't sleep well without mine now. It's like a little fan inside a round box with holes in the side and it makes nice white noise. In hotels, you would not hear the ice, elephants, dripping taps, or anything else. The smoke alarm light might still be an issue, but otherwise, it just makes everything hum gently. We use it so that the roosters and donkey don't wake us up.

Hey, my goat is gonna give birth soon. I need some No-Doz.

Savannah Belle said...

Claire, I too use a small fan to diffuse noises at night. It sits on my night stand. I never thought about putting it in a box with holes in it. Do you use a cardboard box or wooden? I wouldn't get the small amount of sleep that I do without my fan. It goes where I go except on a plane. The snoring, coughing, breathing that goes on in our bed is awful. Our lab used to try out snoring Popeeno and shudder like a horse, even kick the wall. Not a very restful room. One night I got up, drug Lucy's bed into the office and Popeeno woke up to ask what I was doing. I threatened if he said one word I would drag him in there too!!

T Lee said...

Boing, Boing, Boing...anybody busted your bubble yet?

I guess you should get the ambien from the doc to go with the no doz next road trip! HA! Kidding.

Go Road Warrior...you BEAST!

Superman better be SUPER MAN!

Anonymous said...

actually lola nova the corn castle in mitchell, sd is on our next place to visit list!

Mom L said...

Anon - is that you, D? - I just HAD to google the corn castle in Mitchell and found the Corn Palace and right next to it - another giant bull for Diane!! The Chef's bull! And there's a huge buffalo also, in front of a motel. Have fun!!!
Love you!

d~iowa said...

Joanna- what kind of dope do you get from your doctor? can you send me some? ; )- oh, and I'm NOT Mensa smart, that's why I drove.

Mom.- yes Anon is Darrin, not me!

Lola Nova- we ARE going to the corn palace next!

Tlee- i need some ambien for sure.

everyone else- good insomnia stories!

MIL-are you getting my emails yet?

Claire said...

Savannah Belle - it's in a round "box" already when you buy it, but you could put yours in a box and see if it worked. The "box" is a circular affair, and the holes get bigger or smaller (and the fan noise louder or softer) as you turn the top casing part, so you can adapt it to elephants in the room above, etc.
Here is mine.
http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-SleepMate-Electro-Mechanical-Sound-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM

Claire said...

Well dang, the link was too long.

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Sleep
Mate-Electro-Mechanical-Sound-
Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM

(put that all back together with no spaces for the link)