Diane's Cyclone Experiment

If I've seemed a bit preoccupied lately, it's because I've been working on a very special project.
I wanted to see if it was possible to experience the thrill of Coney Island without having to travel all the way to New York. I must say the experiment was a complete success! I'd like to share the process with everyone because it's very simple and takes no time at all.

Here's what you'll need:

PMS
winter blues
nicotine withdrawals
cabin fever

First, mix your PMS with your winter blues and let simmer for approx. 24 hours. Next, add a dash of nicotine withdrawals and blend well. Finally, toss in some cabin fever and Voilà!!!

You're on an emotional roller coaster!!!!


***Individual results may vary.
***Please consult your husband before trying this at home.

The House by the Side of the Road

I saw this little house today and it reminded me of Grandma and one of her favorite poems....



The House by the Side of the Road
by Sam Walter Foss

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart, In a fellowless firmament;

There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths

Where highways never ran-

But let me live by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

Where the race of men go by-

The men who are good and the men who are bad,

As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner's seat

Nor hurl the cynic's ban-

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road

By the side of the highway of life,

The men who press with the ardor of hope,

The men who are faint with the strife,

But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,

Both parts of an infinite plan-

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,

And mountains of wearisome height;

That the road passes on through the long afternoon

And stretches away to the night.

And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice

And weep with the strangers that moan,

Nor live in my house by the side of the road

Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road,

Where the race of men go by-

They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,

Wise, foolish - so am I.

Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,

Or hurl the cynic's ban?

Let me live in my house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

The Joy Of Boredom

I just came across an article that my My Aunt B sent me last March called "The joy of boredom".

"There is a strong argument that boredom -- so often parodied as a glassy-eyed drooling state of nothingness -- is an essential human emotion that underlies art, literature, philosophy, science, and even love."

"The most creative people are known to have the greatest toleration for long periods of uncertainty and boredom."

"We are most human when we feel dull. Lolling around in a state of restlessness is one of life's greatest luxuries ... It is in these times of reflection that people often discover something new, whether it is an epiphany about a relationship or a new theory about the way the universe works."

This is great news!
The dogs and I should have an epiphany coming any minute now.



We're still waiting....

I've Been Butterflied!

Today I was feeling a little sad for my kids dogs as I watched them tip toe around on sore, scabby, bloody little paws from their 10 hour excursion yesterday.... so it was a perfect day to receive The Butterfly Award. Thank you Goats In The Garden for making ME smile today!! If only you could send me a fainting goat named Myrtle my life would be complete. I've always wanted a fainting goat.
Now I need to start working on my nominees.....but in the meantime, here is a random picture that has nothing to do with anything.
The year was 1986 and I was just a young teenager. I wasn't just any teenager mind you...
oh no, I was a teenager with a dog, a camera, and a dream.
Behold......... 'Tootsie'

Grounded For Life

We woke up this morning to about 6 inches of snow-the most we've seen so far!
Olive was the first to notice the white blanket that covered the deck.


And the first to longingly stare out the door.


Of course they never want to go downstairs to play outside in the snow where the yard is fenced in. Oh no, they want to take off and chase deer for an hour or 2, come home exhausted, and then sleep for a day. Way to go Olive, now Pete wants to go out and run too.


We don't let them do it very often, but every once in awhile we give in.


But mostly we just barricade the deck so they can't run off.
They hate it when we do that.
Doh! Sorry Banjo, today is a barricade day.


That's right Pete, you don't get to run today either.


But today they REALLY wanted to chase deer-
so much that they stood at the front door
and looked real pathetic...


I couldn't take it.


I caved.


Have fun kids. Be careful.

See you in a few hours....


****Did I say a few hours?
Um-they left around 10 this morning and they JUST got home- it's almost 8pm!
I wrote this post hours ago, but I was so worried about the idiots that I couldn't post it.
All I could think of is how horrible I would feel if they never came back and the last picture on my blog would be of their paw prints in the snow after I let them out.

I sure do hope they enjoyed their LAST deer run EVER.

Pass That Buck

Please put your hands together and join me in welcoming Mayberry's own
2009 Track & Field Team!



Congrats ladies!



Way to make it through hunting season!
WooHoo!

15 Seconds of Non-Lucrative Fame

So once again some random person found a pic on my Flickr page and asked if they could use it on their website....and once again of COURSE there is no cash involved. I only get photo credit, which in this case is pretty funny since you can't really read the credit they added to it anyway. Click HERE to see for yourself.
And even funnier is that it was just a stupid camera phone picture!

Oh how I love having my unreadable name plastered on a camera phone picture!!!
Whatever.
Moving on.
So today I asked Pete if he had any ideas for a store name before I made my final decision, and he asked if it was OK for him to use my laptop for some research. Of COURSE it was. So he logged on and said, "leave it to me momma, I have an idea."

(OMG- I totally did did NOT photoshop the wink- how perfect is that?)

Anyway, Pete was all like, "remember this picture you took a few years ago when you were driving cross country with Susie to Montana?"
So I put down the camera and walked over to see what he was looking at. I had totally forgotten about this picture....


I think Pete might be on to something!
Minus the 'discount' of course.

And thinking about that road trip also reminded me of another random 'Did It' from my '2 tears in a Bucket List'.......

Visit the Grand Tetons.

An Apple A Day

KEEPS THE CIGARETTES

AWAY.

Junkin'

It's time for me to start generating some income around here or D is going to make me go get a job-and we certainly can't have that. He's been very patient and supportive knowing it will take some time for me to start over in a new town and build a new photo client base...but I'm starting to feel like The Biggest Loser watching him leave for work while I sit around and talk to the dogs all day.
I read an article that said, "the typical person has 50 unused items worth $3,000 right in their homes, according to eBay." I know right. But it got me thinking about that TBS show Junkin that I used to love to watch, and how I could gather all of my junk for a 'virtual garage sale'... and why not sell my prints, note cards, calendars, photo stuff too? Why not have an Ebay storefront that will have fun junk AND art for sale? Why Not?
So I got an Ebay storefront but before I can set it up I have to give it a name, and the name can't be changed once I register it.
Oh the pressure!
I like my "Loess Is More" theme so I thought "More Or Loess Junk" would be funny. But I guess calling my photography 'Junk' is probably not good.
I need a catchy name so I can get movin' on this...or else it's just going to end up in the can along with the rest of my brilliant ideas.

Like my Lizzie greeting card line...


or my 'Trailer Park Yard Art" coffee table book......


or my funny post cards of zoo animals....

.....just to name a few.

I know, Loess talk, more action!

Anyone got an idea for a store name??

The Daily Planet

If only I had my zoom lens with me yesterday, I could have gotten a great shot of the car fire we saw on our way to town. Then I could have taken that great shot to our little paper who in turn would have been so impressed they would have offered me a job as senior photographer of The Mayberry Press. I could have been the next Jimmy Olsen of this town. But no, yesterday I didn't have a zoom lens with me. Yesterday the great shot I got was of some smoke coming out of a tiny yellow dot next to a somewhat larger red dot.


I did manage to get a cute shot of this cow though.
That's big news right?

Where's Clark Kent when I need him?

Drive-by Shooting

Darrin was on the phone the other day with the power company reporting our outage, among other questions they asked him if our neighbors had lost power too- he just laughed and said, "um, we don't have neighbors."
The closest house is at the end of our road over a mile away, and that doesn't even seem strange to me anymore. It's been 5 months since we left our old 'Big City' life behind and I still can't believe what a different world it is out here. I still can't believe what a peaceful place we've found.....it's like a parallel universe or something.
So today I'm going to take you on a quick tour of our new hood. I'm going to shoot for you some of the little things that make me smile these days.
Yes mom, it will be almost like you were riding along with us!

So we head out on Orange Ave-down on the left is the neighbor.


I love the sky. I never really paid attention to it in Atlanta.


Cows! I still yell out "cows!" when I see them.


This is our traffic. Exactly-there isn't any.


See, it's not all flat! We have hills!


Fun farm thingies filled with corn. Corn!


2 guys ice fishing!


I love this barn, it has cartoon farm animals on it.


Trees.


The snow is so pretty it makes me think of sand dunes.


More cows! And look at that sky.


A doe!


And back to Orange Ave...up the gravel road about a mile is our house.


And that's what I call a Drive-by shooting.
In our new world.

These Are A Few Of Pete's Favorite Things......

Yeah, Texas Pete tried to prepare some lunch while we were gone yesterday.

Again.

Oversized Granny Panties

Today I am feeling rather proud- for I have been eating healthier, exercising, and I have not given in to smoking. I'm feeling a little bold too- so I asked Darrin to take a 'before picture' of me today...just to hang on the fridge for some extra motivation. It is VERY rare for me to post a full body fat ass shot of myself.......but since I am determined to fix that it doesn't really bother me right now. Please cherish this beautiful moment.




And yeah, I wear granny panties because they are comfortable....so?


** And here is some funny proof that I wear them with pride...

Fine Print

Pete has a pretty good sense of humor, so it was no surprise to me when he pointed out a news story on our recent "white out" weather conditions.


The caption read, 'It was truly "white-out" conditions last Monday'.
The black and white photo of said "white-out" was pretty much just a blurry gray square on the page....


For some reason the picture of nothing cracked me up to no end, and I seriously thought it was a joke at first. Is it just me having nicotine withdrawals and being loopy?

Well anyway, at least I know what isn't funny- taking the dogs for a ride when it is -14 degrees outside.
Not funny to me!

Or them.

Requiem For A Dream?

Alex, I'll take 'Words That Confuse Diane' for $10,000....



do do do do da da da.....doot, do do dah dah doo dum.


do do do do da da da.....doot, do do dah dah doo dum....

Ummmm.....What is 'Crockpotting' and 'Exercise'????
(loud clapping noise and balloons falling from the ceiling)
You got it-cooking a meal from scratch and THEN walking it off!
Is it Jeopardy? Or the Twilight Zone??!!!
You decide.

Lemonade Stand Award!

Thank you "Claire" for nominating me for my very first Blog award!!! The Lemonade Stand Award is for showing 'gratitude and/or a great attitude'.....Me? Great attitude? I love it! See what happens when I move my happy ass from the 'Big City' to Mayberry? That's right, this girl's got a whole new great attitude going on. Thanks for laughing with me and not at me!

Here are the rules:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate 10 blogs that show gratitude or great attitude or both.
3. Be sure to link your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link this post to the person whom you received your award from.

Now if you know me, then you know I find it hard to follow most rules. In this case that works out perfectly because being a blogger virgin and all...I don't have TEN blogs in my pocket to share the love with. But I do have almost 10 that caught my fancy... so I would like to nominate them now :)

1. Mud Puppy- Because his writing is brilliant. And he is serving our country. And he ends every post with- "I love you mom". And I LOVE his attitude- "If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing anything at all".
2. Lola- Because oh how I love her attitude. Any day, every day.
3. The Urban Baboon- Don't stop posting! Atlanta needs you and your commentary!
4. CLP- Because her 'fit-smoke free- girl' attitude is very inspiring.
5. Joanna- Because she has farmer girl attitude! And her comments always make me smile. And she likes my dogs. And if she already won this award...well, she gets two.
6. Bruce- Because his artwork is fantastic-check him out.
7. Bush Babe- Because I love her attitude, stories, pictures, wit, humor and everything else she does.

There you have it- that was fun! And with all that lemonade excitement I don't have much else to offer tonight. I would like to share a little something new I tried in the kitchen so get ready.... I wanted a somewhat healthy treat that we could dip into our fresh salsa that wouldn't make my ass grow like 4 inches. So I took some lo-fat tortilla wraps, cut them into triangles, then baked them in the oven (I know everyone is in disbelief-but I do use the oven on rare occasions). They came out GREAT except for one small problem....



Can you see the problem? Probably not- it's hard to spot. Think way back to October... it was only my second post....and it included a video clip involving an obnoxious Iowan insect phenomenon.....here's a refresher in case you forgot.



That's right- over 3 months later and the f*cking Asian lady beetle/bug is still showing up! In the oven on my cookie tray! OMG! I hate them!

*** Note to self: 6 minutes @ 350 degrees makes them very crispy :)
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!